Letters to Aurora |
An entry every day for my dear sweet Aurora until 1135 days pass. |
Dear Aurora,
I really don’t write these in the middle of the day, but I just had to.
You lied to me.
You. Lied. To. Me.
I really don’t get mad. I rarely ever get mad, especially if it’s you.
But this…
I just…
I am speechless.
A part of me is happy that you’re happy. Another is boiling with rage and fury. And the third has just died.
I don’t know if I should even continue this blog anymore.
(The following days/weeks will now be posted as blanks)
I hope you’re fucking happy.
Always with Love,
Danny
Dear Aurora,
I really need to finish my summer reading. I did horribly at my swimming championships today. I actually missed an event. I haven’t done that in years. I’m going quickly to bed now.
Always with Love,
Danny
Dear Aurora,
Honestly:
I lose confidence in myself a lot.
I really despise myself for being a lot of the qualities I never wanted to become when I was little.
I have emotional episodes.
I actually like a lot of things that are called, “girly” and dislike a lot of things that are “manly”, so I wonder/wondered if any girl would like me at all.
I talk a lot.
There’s so many things to hate about me…
Of course, before, you would disagree with me. I don’t know how you would respond now.
Always with Love,
Danny
Dear Aurora,
I…
think I’ll pass on writing some stuff here. I had a rough day, and barely held myself together tonight by putting on a bravado and smiling (I haven’t had to do that in a while). Writing my honest feelings won’t do me any good right now.
Finished one book, one more to go for summer reading homework. Four and a half more to go for the rest of the books that I bought.
You looked sad today, so I’m worried. But it’s not my place to worry anymore— I’ll stop there.
Always with Love,
Danny
Dear Aurora,
Today, I got a fortune cookie that read, “Today, you will have a lucky and memorable day.” No. I didn’t. It was actually one of my worse ones. What was I even hoping for?
When I was coming home tonight from band camp, exhausted, I thought about how I would even ask you out. I realized although I might be able to, it’d be unlikely I could do anything once you’re at college. So, maybe I’ll ask you after two years instead. I don’t care if I’m rejected because I’ll just keep asking you. Wait, that sounds like a creeper.
Always with Love,
Danny
Dear Aurora,
I’m extremely tired from the 10 hours of band camp. I’m going to sleep quickly right now. Sorry I can’t write much, but you were there, so I don’t think I really need to describe my day to you. Sorry I couldn’t help you out with your 11 textbooks. But hey, at least Andrew was there, right?…
Always with Love,
Danny
Dear Aurora,
I’m really not mentally prepared for tomorrow. It’s going to be 10 hours of band camp, and I will be utterly exhausted. Today, however, I was the photographer for my parents and my brother’s citizenship photos. Our family’s registering to be citizens after 10 years. I also bought sunglasses so the sun won’t hurt my eyes so much. And that is pretty much all I did today. See you tomorrow.
Always with Love,
Danny
Dear Aurora,
What is up, yo?
Only a week left until school starts. Band camp the entire week prior. One month until my ACT test. I’m ready for it. Two months to finish my AP Calculus AB. Six months until the Chemistry Olympiad competition. Seven months until swim tryouts. Nine months until varsity debate competition and AP tests. Ten months until the start of my junior and your senior year. Twelve months until the beginning of the school year again. Two years and a half until 1135 days are over. See you around.
Always with Love,
Danny
P.S. I’m thinking of starting to put these “countdowns” every significant number like 200, 300, 365, etc. Maybe not, we’ll see.
Dear Aurora,
As always, beautiful, charming, and hard working, you are. I feel like… I fall in love with you all over again every time I see you . I’m extremely tired from band camp. I had a fun time playing “Monopoly Deal” (it’s a card game) with my family tonight.
Every time I begin to write a journal on this blog I always think that I don’t have anything to write, but I end up doing it anyways. I also realize that my “depression” was very pathetic. I actually had no legitimate reason enough to become depressed (maybe enough to be sad though), but thinking like that made it even worse. Honestly, I really wasn’t thinking straight at all. I made a lot of people mad or sad, including you. I was in a “screw it all” sort of mood.
So, all in all, I’m finally thinking straight, and I’m not going to have anymore problems for a while; as long as some storm of troubles doesn’t hit me.
Still love you.
Always with Love,
Danny
Dear Aurora,
Tomorrow’s band camp. So it means I’m going to see you tomorrow. It’s been a while. I hope I don’t do anything stupid. Oh, and I improved my English score.
Always with Love,
Danny
